In Pursuit of Love

On being released from the hospital, I rode the wheelchair out the door. I wasn’t so weak that I could not walk, but some kind of hospital policy. I thought this was hospital way of telling us,   hey look we know we are a shitty hospital but at least we give you people free wheelchair rides, come back again . I smiled. Mostly because of the thought which was in my head but also because, I felt that I have just been released from jail. I told the orderly that he will miss pushing me around, but that old guy didn’t even crack a smile.

SIX DAYS LEFT It is a scientific fact that when your room is cold, you tend to have nightmares. Which was quite poetic as in the month of December, where the whole country was experiencing cold chills, I experienced my life turning into a nightmare. Her flight was on first of January, and all I could think was;   how could she do this to   me? I had arranged my apartment with balloons and flowers and ribbons. I had placed scented candles with two cushions on the floor. In my mind, I just wanted to move past the drama of her parents and all the crying of yesterday. However, she had to ruin it all by moving to U.S.A.

‘Don’t cry baby.’ I kept repeating it. I was trying to figure out, the reason for her breakdown. She said she missed her parents, when she went back to her hometown. Then why did she come back so early. The scheduled return flight was for after the New Year’s. Many questions lingered in my head as I held her in my arms. I could feel the warmth of her tears on my chest as she pressed her face in me. I felt like she was trying to read my heart beat.

               ‘Hey baby, I was missing you so much, I was just about to message you,’ I said after picking up her call. ‘Why was your phone busy?’ she probed. ‘I was talking to Karan,’ I replied, my words didn’t sound too convincing. ‘No, YOU WERE NOT, it’s his birthday and you still haven’t wished him, I just wished him.’ I’m fucked, I don’t know whether I was right or wrong in lying, but I am totally fucked. Well I have understood one thing, Pooja has an inbuilt 6th sense and her antenna only catches my thoughts which don’t include her. That’s why she keeps such long luscious hair, so to keep those antennas hidden under them. Why I had to lie, I cursed myself. Though my brain had shut down, I tried hard to come up with some excuses.

Well it was a night before Christmas, and not a creature was awake, except me! I had my reasons for being awake, I had to meet Santa and ask him to bring back my sanity. I met with Sagar this evening and he gave me news which was quite disturbing. A feeling I would best describe as getting suckered punched. You don’t know where that punch came from, but it knocks you out. Well, the news was; my ex is getting married in January.  I was with Pooja, so this shouldn’t bother me,  I tried to convince myself. However, my mind or should I say my heart was having different opinion. My feelings of suffering were getting convoluted, as I was still not able to decide what was really troubling me.

Emotions Though they say, one express best, on going through some harsh times. The polychromatic life puts you through test, You are left with no situation that rhymes! Those harsh moment, when one loses credence. They don't see fear, but call the act as craven! expecting love, but are left with grievance, And you get atrocities, as they flock around like raven.

Women, one of the most beautiful art created I wanted to write a poem some words that rhyme Though I wanted to be simple, but something sublime My hearts you swindle and my words now intertwined I Compliment each girl’s beauty within these lines You’re an angel from above, perfection close enough Powerless to resist, you have become my drug You cry on goodbyes, those tears never too shy When you wipe your woes away, my world beautifies