Short Story : One Sided Love

One sided love, it hurts. 

This Story is dedicated to one of my readers who wanted me to write on this topic, I actually don't know the name of that person so hope that person enjoys it.

With curtains raised, the sun beamed its warm light into the room, making it illuminated. A voice heard from the kitchen, “get up, you are getting late for college”. Stuff toys on one side and on the other side lay Swati; she tried slowly getting up, yawning and stretching, then falling back again with eyes closed and one hand wandering on the bed to find her mobile phone, opening an eye to see the many notifications and messages. Voice from afar again enquires, “Want some tea?” to which Swati replied with “yes”.


Rising from the bed, with the phone in her hand, she moved to the washroom to freshen up, texting along the way with her best friend Nikita. After the shower, she opens her cupboard and instantaneously calls Nikita.


Without any greeting, “Yaar, I have nothing to wear, and today is Arush sir’s lecture”.
Nikita from the other side, “Why don’t you wear your white top, we bought last week”, with a rather annoyed voice Swati replies “yaar that bitch, Sheena worn it yesterday, and you know she won’t leave an opportunity like this to comment on”.
“I know-” replies Nikita, and then continues “-Why can’t she mind her own business, always trying to flaunt her boyfriend in front of us”?
“Her boyfriend is a jerk, and he keeps messaging on Facebook to be his friend; he has a nice face and all, but his English is terrible, I will show you his messages, you would ROFL” and both the girls start to chuckle. ”Chal get ready soon.  I am waiting”.
“Okay I will be there in half an hour to pick you up” Nikita replies and they both hang up the phone.

There was always a fight between girls to sit in the front row during Arush Sir’s class, only few guys attended, and those were guys who were either had a crush on a girl or coerced by their girlfriends to attend it. Nikita and Swati were late and hence had to sit in the back benches. The class was full of clamorous sounds of giggles and chitchats, but voices dulled down to a silence as soon as he entered.

Arush was an assistant professor and though he wasn’t a good-looking man as such, with a tall built, lean figure and few shades of grey starting to show, yet he had the most soothing voice a man can have, he often use to anchor all the cultural programs as his English was immaculate and a voice which could land him a job in any radio station. He wasn’t like any other professors in the college and somehow he had the gift to make each student feel special.

Arush walked inside with a smile on the face greeting all the girls and few odd boys sitting in the class, he took out his book “Shakespeare’s Romeo and Juliet” and instead of sitting on the chair he sat on the table. After reading a verse from the play, he sat the book down and removed his glasses and begun to discuss. Swati always waited for him to remove his glasses, she found so much enchantment and pain in those eyes at the same time. She always wondered about those small yet gleeful eyes, as to what is that, which gives him so much enthusiasm to teach us spoiled brats.

Swati though not the brightest of the batch, yet always tried her best in Arush’s class, she would read the chapter’s beforehand, and always tried to participate in all the discussions, with an attempt to get few drops of attention from one she desperately wanted to be acknowledged. She felt care when they met in campus and he would always ask, ‘how is she doing’? And though always attentive she would lose sight and wander off to a time and place where she dreamt of being the Juliet and him being the Romero just to snap out of it with a big smile on her face.

Swati and Nikita sat in the cafeteria, when they were joined by Archana, and thus began scrutiny and appreciation of their English Professor.
Wasn’t he looking great today, Swati enquired cheerfully?
“Nah., I like him in stripes, plain clothing doesn’t suit his personality”, replied Nikita and both start to giggle.
Swati abruptly announces, “I heard that he is having a crush on one of the students”.
Swati leans forward in anticipation to know whether it’s her.
Archana continues “I don’t know the girl’s name but I think she is from our class only”.
Nikita could see the excitement in Swati’s eyes and grabs her hand not wanting Archana to be introduced with the information of Swati infatuation. She asks Archana “Why do you think he remains to be single?”
Archana pouring all the gossip on the table from the sources she heard form, but the most appealing one they could figure out was, that Arush was in a relationship and they were about to get married but that girl cheated on him. Then there was silence, they thought about the tragic figure that always has a smile on his face to hide the pain which lies beneath. Swati breaks the silence, “any girl would be lucky to be loved by him, she was a fool to cheat, what a bitch!” Archana and Nikita agreed with Swati.

Swati walked back to the college leaving Nikita and Archana in the cafeteria, she had many a times seen him sitting alone in the faulty room after lunch and hence her steps move forward towards the faculty room. She felt a slight joy to know she was right. Standing outside a cloud of thoughts surrounded her, and she could almost feel the nerves pumping blood to her heart. She took a quick glance in the room and found a calm and relaxed educator sitting with no care in the world while outside that same educator had caused a stir in a girl’s heart. Swati conjured up the courage to walk in the room, upon seeing her Arush greeted her with a smile and asked how he could help her.

Swati words came out erratic as she was crossed between the judgment of her brain and the feelings of her heart, fumbling words came out of her mouth making it seem like a sentence said by an infant and not by someone who is in college. Arush rose from the chair, telling Swati to calm down. Swati looked down in embarrassment  she felt as though tears could flow right out of her eyes. Arush made her to sit down and asked, if she wanted some water. By the time Swati answered a glass of water was presented in front of her. She slowly drank it trying to calm her nerves. Arush sat back on his chair leaning back in a more relaxed position; he smiled politely and asked, “Now tell me what happened”. Swati took a deep breath, lifting her head, still not able to make eye contact, but somehow managed to speak, “Sir can I have your e-mail Id, I have to show you some of my work and get your opinion as I don’t know whether it’s good or bad”. Arush took out his card, and handed it to Swati with a quote on courage “Courage is being scared to death, but saddling up anyway” by John Wayne.

Swati looking at the card and wondering, how does he manage to say the most pleasing of things? But then saw the Email-id. Every professor was given Email-id by the college and that was mentioned in the card, she quickly looked up at his face and said, “but sir, I don’t want my work to go on the college server, please…please…please give me your personal id. Arush took the card and on the back wrote his personal id without any hesitation. Swati was overjoyed; it felt like a hard-fought victory for her.

After college she got home, She quickly took out her laptop and begun typing out her feelings, with carefully checking each word and sentence, editing-deleting-making it perfect, she felt as an Author who is in love with his character and wanted to write the best of things for him. After losing count on how many times she had read the entire thing, it was time to push send. She was in total distress; it felt at the time as the biggest decision of her life. Not knowing whether she was doing the right thing or not, her finger pushed send.

...
Then came the moment of dreaded wait, she kept looking at the screen, hitting refresh like someone with obsessive compulsive disorder. An hour later she had a new mail.

“Dear Swati,
I am flattered with your confession and actually feel honoured that you had the courage to write your feeling that too in such beautiful words. I quite well understand your feelings, yet I can’t say that I feel the same. If at any time, you felt like, I led you on, I am terribly sorry for that.
Regards
Arush”

Warm tears rolled down Swati’s eyes, a brain as nimble as it is couldn’t stop from the ache which roars from the heart. She closed her laptop and covered herself with a quilt and cried till she fell asleep.