(Series) Chapter 2: Can We Be Friends With Our Ex

On a lazy Saturday afternoon, I was being summoned by Pooja, to be her slave for the afternoon as she would search each and every shop at the mall till she finds the best stilettos for her beautiful feet. I was just the muck who would carry her bags and give my expert opinion, on being asked, as to which style looks better, ‘I would rather enjoy watching her try on some new lingerie than stupid sandals, but oh well’. Pooja was a dear friend, but frankly I was a little terrified of her. She was beautiful, smart and knew Taekwondo and could easily kick my ass even though we had a height difference of one foot. After college she went to U. K. for her master’s degree and had picked up an accent, I loved listening to her talk, ‘British Accent is the best, she would say fuck you and it would sound like, I like you’.



 I had done nothing all week other than sitting in front of my laptop watching different series, so I was looking forward to walking all day in the mall, exercise.
   
As soon as we entered the mall, I was happy with my decision. It was Saturday, the mall was filled with girls and I was with one who was hot as the summer heat outside. I was enjoying the attention and the turning of eyeballs as we walked. Being ugly as me, I was not use to being smiled at by beautiful girls as we passed by them, I was feeling confident for once, my chest was out and my head held high. ‘Only if these girls knew, I was just her bag carrier and she was way out of my league, I would be back to that tall ugly chap.’ She began her ritual of going to all the shops that sale sign on them, I could see the excitement in her eyes as a little child left in a toy store.

My feet started to ache by now, and we had just finished two floors, there were still two more floors to complete, I already had a bag in each hand, apparently we were not here just for shoes alone. I told her that I needed rest, so we began our way to the food court. As we were about to reach there, suddenly Pooja turned and ran towards the fire escape exit, I was left dumbfounded, I didn’t understand what just happened. I made my way towards her, she was gasping for air, I was enjoying her breast going up and down, but I had to ask her as to what on earth could have made the girl I was terrified of, so much aghast. ‘My ex is here’ she mumbled, I could hear her clearly but I wanted to hear her again, I could not believe what I was hearing. For the first time the goddess Pooja looked human to me. ‘I was a little happy also, now at least.  I knew one of the flaws in her perfection’. She told me that she was the one who had been dumped, ‘That guy must be a Greek God to dump her’, and also that she didn’t want to be anywhere near him and wished he was dead.

 That night this incident made me wonder, why do we want our ex’s to be out of our lives all together, or can we be friends with our ex?
I was so bad in maths that I could hardly find the value of ‘X’ let alone solve the equation of what makes ‘A’ be friends with ‘B’ that is now an ‘ex’. I thought what better way to find my answers than a brainstorm with your ex. I called ‘B’ next morning, the conversation was awkward but we decided to have lunch together.

 I reached there trying to look my best, which was just below average for normal people. I met her outside the pub, she looked lovely as always, a slender thought crept into my brain ‘she was right to dump me, she was far too beautiful to be with an ugly guy like me’. She looked nervous or maybe her heels were just slippery as she missed a step and was about to fall but somehow managed not to, a good thing was, it was a Sunday afternoon and the pub was totally empty or we would have to find a new place to sit because of this incident. To see her so conscious and nervous, made me a little confident. She ordered water, and I ordered Ice tea, we both smiled at each other and then she ordered two tequila shots, both for her my order remained the same, ‘I never consumed alcohol but I had tasted her salty lips after she was down two-three shots’.

We were both laughing, she told me stuff she hated about me while we were dating and I told her that I hated her friends, especially Vicky whom I knew liked her, but she would never get rid of him. ‘So finally I was able to solve the equation, you can be friends with your ex, after two tequila shots down’.

 ‘So who is the lucky guy?’ I asked sarcastically, and she looked at me and uttered ‘Vicky’. ‘WHAT THE FUCK’ I was in raged mode, I didn’t care if anyone was listening to us, I was almost shouting, how can she dump me and go to that asshole, I wanted to choke that guy and see life leave his eyes. She tried to explain to me that she wanted to tell this news herself and didn’t want me to hear it from someone else. I didn’t care I stood up angrily, and told her to fuck off and never call me again, I could see her crying, but now I didn’t care. At one time I would have done anything to stop those tears from falling, but now I wanted her to cry and feel the pain I was suffering. I left the place, she called me many times and left many texts, trying to explain me everything, but it hardly mattered to me.

I finally understood what Pooja was going through.  We can never be friends with our ex. We are not that evolved to see them happy with someone else; hence we try to eradicate them from our world. So here is the answer to the equation ‘A’ and ‘B’ if ex should never be friends, one of them ends up getting hurt. 

‘So should we talk about whom we are dating now, I guess that what friends talk about’ I said wanting to know if she was dating someone. I immediately regretted my words. She began to say something, ‘listen-I cut her in mid-sentence ‘I don’t think we should talk about this, not until we are serious with that person’. ‘It’s serious, umm I am engaged’ she said. I sat there shocked, I was furious, if Vicky had been sitting here, I would have punched him repeatedly till his face would be so disfigured that the best plastic surgeon wouldn’t be able to make it back to what it was. I tried to calm myself down, I thought to myself, ‘she is beautiful and someday she would have moved on, I should be civil about this’.

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