(Series) Chapter 4: I think I am in love, I just think too much!

I watched her walk away, and my mouth was left wide open. It’s great that she wasn’t looking or she could see a helpless puppy standing there with his wiggling tail wanting some affection. I wanted to say a thousand words but my mouth was on strike. If she turns around once, she loves me, but she didn’t. Cause things like these only happen in movies, damn the movies filling my head with stupid notions of love. It was getting a bit chilly, so I got back in my car and watched till the lights of her flat turned on. I guess, I was waiting for her to look out the window, see me sitting there waiting for her. Then suddenly realise how much she loves me and shouts I love you. Nevertheless, that didn’t happen either. In the end I was left confused, sad and little turned on after the events that unfolded.

The drive home was a pain, and I was sleepy.  Nevertheless, my weary brain was repeating that kiss again and again and again . . . On each roundabout, I wanted to turn back and go ask her what all that meant.  However, I kept moving on. As I fixated on that event, I pushed the accelerator paddle even harder, the thoughts in my head were matching the speed in which I was driving. It was a long drive, but the thing is, I love long drives. There is something magical when you are alone in the car driving on the road. It’s you, your car and the long way which you have to cross to an end, and on the long path you have wide array of thoughts to keep yourself busy. These thoughts never seem to leave me, I would think of all the things which I could have done differently, said differently, but right now Pooja was the only thing on my mind.

I began to wonder, was I in love,

but then my thoughts had to take a backseat as I found that I had lost the keys to my apartment. I had two options. Either I could sleep in my car and get a lock smith in the morning or I could go back to Pooja’s place and crash for the night there. I had already made my mind.

I called her up and explained the situation. I think she took pity on me as I was standing outside her place in matter of fifteen minutes. I rang the bell, standing there all excited. She opened the door slightly; maybe she was reconsidering her decision, but then she invited me in. I looked at her, with her hair opened and a black frame glasses on her eyes, she looked adorable, I didn’t take my eyes of her face.

I entered, and it was a place a thousand times better than mine. It was warm, arranged and had a particular scent which reminisced of what I tasted when I kissed her. I felt glad to lose my keys. She went into the kitchen as I found myself settling onto the couch. I looked around, impressed with the interior of the place; I was ready to move in such a peaceful and a soothing place. She reappeared with two mugs. She sat next to me, and though the couch was made for two, and my enormous size took three fourth of it. She still managed to maintain some space between us. She sat there with her legs up, making her seem ever smaller than she was. She sipped her coffee and I just kept looking at her and I couldn’t help myself to appreciate her gesture, not to mention, coffee was great. The thought, which sprang in my head earlier, came again. However, this time I had the person sitting right there in front of me, taking small sips of the coffee she made.

I wanted to talk, but I didn’t know how to start. What about the kiss we had, how was it. I wish I had the courage to say that, but I just sat there wasting time. She then gave me a pillow and a sheet for me to sleep, as though I was going to sleep knowing she was just a door away. I said goodnight and she went inside. It was kind of anticlimactic for me.  Here I was imagining myself talking to her all night. At some point when she would get sleepy, I would lend her my shoulder, and she would just rest there. I would use my fingers to put her hair behind her ears, somewhere in the dark night, I would get that kiss again, make her fall in love with me.

So was I in love again? Even if this wasn’t love, I was thinking of her repeatedly, and this was giving me the feeling that I was in love. That’s the thing, when you think of someone all the time; you just focus on all the good things, and make yourself infatuated with that person. In my case the person who was making me think of gushy feelings was just behind that door. I had to confront her. If not for me all the men who haven’t had the courage to take the step and regretted for the rest of their lives, I can do this.

I got up, threw the coat jacket on the couch, opened few buttons of my shirt and started to walk in. I was about faint when I reached her door, but my weak legs somehow managed to bare my weight. I stood outside, and started taking long breaths; I don’t know why she makes me so nervous, why beautiful people make me nervous. I am sure she is a witch that could be the only explanation I can think of.  I am sure she was doing some black magic behind that door, sitting with a small doll of mine and putting pointy pins where my heart is. 

I didn’t know what I was going to say, but suddenly my hand had a mind of its own. It automatically started knocking on the door. I looked in horror as my hand turned the knob to open the door. Now I am sure, she is a witch, she is making me do all this. I was shaking in my shoes as I entered.

The room had the lights on.  The bed was in the middle with two lamps on each side, a window which was closed on the left and then there was she. Sitting there on the bed, looking all beautiful in her small shorts with her fair legs pointing directly at me. Calling me to touch them, feel their softness, write tales about them. At that point I wanted to be a poet and write an epic to let people know about how great they looked, and how it could make a man hypnotized just by looking at them once. I am not a pervert or anything, but if a woman has ravishing looking legs, there shall be a law against hiding them. Beauty is meant to be admired and hiding it is a crime, which I can never forgive.

‘What happened?’ she asked calmly.

‘Forget me, what you are doing putting paint on your toe nails this late at night’ I quickly responded. Like those sublime looking feet need any more colour to look any more alluring.

‘I couldn’t sleep’, she replied looking at me. She is happy that I am here or is it?

I walked forward and sat at the end of the bed, ‘let me help you with that’; I took her feet in my hand. They were almost weightless and were fairer than inner sides of my palms.

‘Why did you kiss me?’ She asked with a curious voice. She is talking about the kiss, what about the Love you I also said.

‘Because I fell for you and that too hard’, I didn’t know what came over me but I was telling her things like a patient telling a doctor his symptoms

Looking back at all this, I find it hilarious. When normal people propose, they do it kneeling down holding the girl’s hand. When I proposed, I was sitting at the end of the bed with her feet in my hands, and I was applying black nail paint on her toes. That’s how I roll.

We talked throughout the night, talked just talked. I forget when I dozed off. However, next day when I woke up, she was there on the same bed, under the same quilt and the best part was she was facing me. The bed was not my size, yet it felt like the most comfortable bed in the world.

I slowly woke up. I didn’t want to. It was freezing cold outside the quilt and the best part was, she was there inside it. She looked so warm and adorable. I could just stay there for a lifetime, but I still got up and went to the kitchen to make some coffee. I tried to be as quite as possible while I was looking for the utensils. While I was boiling water, two hands came from behind and hugged me tightly; I just closed my eyes and thanked God, for this was one of the best moments of my life.

Next thing you know, I wasn’t single anymore, only a thing which bugged me was, she never told me that she loved me. Yet it hardly mattered, I was with the most amazing girl, who was simple, beautiful, intelligent and the most caring person I know. The answer to my question was yes. I was in love, I know, as she would never leave my thoughts, and when someone is always there in your consciousness, you know its love.

In the next post, I will be taking the topic of Jealousy. Please like and share.