Love: Sweet in the beginning, bitter in the end.

Love sweet in the beginning, Bitter in the end.

Part 1 click here: (Monotony was killing me), but ego and pride killed me, I am Mallika, and this is the continuation to my story from where I left off.

Life takes a huge turn when you break up with someone, especially when you are 18 years old and this is the only momentous thing which has happened in your life. I did not care about Job crisis/ inflation/ rising rates of crime, only ‘why did he broke up with me’ & ‘will I ever find love again’ had taken occupancy in my brain. However, college was now bearable, thanks to Aayan, an overconfident/ good looking/ popular/ senior who had become a good friend of mine, and I think he likes me too. But I am quite sure there were many other girls, who thought the same thing, yet I was the only one who was blamed for him breaking up with his girlfriend. I felt guilty about the whole affair, and I even told him that I would not talk to him, but he just charmed his way back. For instance, during Dussehra holidays, being at home all day I felt dull and wanted to go out. We were talking on the phone and I mentioned that I wanted to go out for a ride, and within few minutes he was there at my house to take me out. All the while we were talking on the phone, and I didn’t even know that he was on his way to my house.

‘Wear the red saree,’ Aayan smiled and said as he turned and walked away. We had been talking regularly for some time, and this particular evening we were discussing what I was going to wear for tonight’s event. It was our fresher’s night, which had coincided with the Navratri, so our college decided to make it a double celebration event, a garba/ fresher’s night. I had already purchased a dark blue saree with a navy blue border, which I personally thought looked exquisite on me, yet when I arrived that night, I was wearing a dark red saree with golden blouse, stupid Aayan and his smile.

I looked around, and he was standing with his group of friends laughing and singing. I slowly walked towards his direction, taking small steps as it was really hard to walk in my tightly wrapped saree. As I walked passed him, he began to sing, ‘mere khayalon ki Mallika,’ and soon all his friends joined in. I was embarrassed, yet I could not get the blushing smile off my face. Later that night, he called, and for the first thirty minutes all I was able to say was hello and thanks. He complimented me like a poet describing beauty with each word making me blush and giggle, and as I told you earlier, all I came up with was thanks.  I did give him a nickname ‘Juju,’ which he found adorable.

Few days later, during one of his practices Juju injured his knee. This was the first time I had seen him worried, mostly because the championship game was in two weeks. Soon enough I was too infected with the worry virus. I did not know how to cheer him up, so I delivered some flowers, a get well soon card and a teddy bear for him.  He appreciated my gesture, and told me that all that stuff, really cheered him up as he did not know that I also cared for him. Till now he thought, it was only a one way street. His words were like steaming hot coffee as I was not able to sleep that night. I kept trying to think of the time when I started caring for him, I questioned myself about liking him, but no amount of thinking gave me any answers.

Days flew by, and his badminton championship match was at hand. It was a bright sunny day, and sun beamed down its rays relentlessly. I was waiting for him outside the court as he asked me to meet him before the match. As I stood there waiting for him, trying to keep my eyes open as I was praying all night for him to win, and also as the sun light kept piercing through the ozone layer and kept hurting my eyes. I tried to block the rays with my hand, but my weary eyes still found it hard to remain open. Few minutes later a big head blocked the rays, giving my eyes a much needed relief. I wished him good luck and he told me to be near the court when the match finishes.

As the match started, Aayan easily won the first set. However, during the second set, his knee started to bleed again, I could see he was having trouble moving in the court but his shot placement was remarkable. With each point won, I thanked god, and then started praying again till he won the game in straight sets. He leaped through the crowd, who came to congratulate him, and ran towards me and hugged me tightly. Well, that was when everyone knew we were going around, and later that night he even confessed his love for me. 

I was yet to reply to his proposal, as my head was conflicting with uncertain thoughts. I was having trouble believing him, to be truthful; I was having trouble believing in love. My case was similar to every other girl, once bitten twice shy. My previous bad experience and his notorious past together were a combination that did not allow me to trust his feelings.

After that we met every day, and on each occasion he would ask me the same question, till one day he asked me to meet him outside the auditorium. My mind was made, and my answer was no. I waited for him leaning on the walls of the auditorium, and while I waited, I kept thinking of ways to tell him this without hurting his feelings. He came with a big smile on his face, and I felt sorry for him as I was going to be the reason to take that beautiful smile away from that chiselled unshaven face. I was ready to say when he kept his finger on my lips, and then his other hand grabbed my back and pulled me close to him. There was not much distance between us as my eyes were fixed in his dark black hypnotising eyes, and the only thing I could feel were my palms getting sweaty, and my knees getting weak. He came close, and I was sure he was going to kiss me when his lips moved next to my ear, and he whispered, ‘so what is your answer?’ ‘YES’ I replied.

            A YES had landed me in a relationship with Aayan, and next few days that YES brought me many smiles and joy. It was New Year’s Eve and I mentioned once that those who stay together on New Year’s Eve, stays together all year, and Aayan being himself; he was standing outside my hostel at 12:00 am we talked till 4:00 in the morning. Next day I went to his room. He told me that this was the first time he had cleaned his own room, and he even prepared tea for me. We both decided to cook bread rolls, but ended up burning it and creating a mess in the kitchen. And to make that New Year even special, he went down on his injured knee, and proposed me again. This time without hesitating I said yes, and he picked me up in his strong arms, and I had to coerce him into putting me down.

            When things are going so good, you forget that bad times are just lurking around the corner, and my bad time started just one day before my birthday. Nobody likes to sit and study for an exam on the night before their birthday, but that was what I was doing; going through a fat book containing more than 600 hundred pages. While studying, I saw that my pet dog, which I had for more than six years, was not moving. I thought he might be sleeping, so I got back to my books, but after an hour he was still in the same position. I went over and rubbed his back, but there was no movement. As I stared at the still body, I could not control the hot tears which rolled down my cheek.

Later, I tried to concentrate on my studies, but all I did was to stare at the same page for over an hour.  It was five minutes to my birthday, when my phone rang, it was Aayan. His voice was cheerful, and he said he missed me. I told him that I had to study, and I will call him in sometime and at 12:00 he wished me happy birthday. We talked a little more, and after we hung up, I switched off my phone and went to bed. To add to the great gift I got on my birthday, my exam went miserably. I did not feel like talking to anyone, but Aayan kept calling on my phone. His incessant calling was more irritating than caring, and after his seventh straight call, I finally picked up. His voice did not have the same love which it always has, and somehow I felt like I was talking to someone else. He was angry and told me that he felt that I was avoiding him, and his tone made me feel like I have committed a crime by not picking up his call. I did not want to listen to his bickering so I hung up the call.

I think my disconnecting the call hurt his ego as after that his calls just kept coming. I thought he would tire down after few calls, but he just kept going. After about five or six miss calls, I received a message, ‘how dare you disconnect my call!’ which pushed me over the edge, and I switched off my cell phone. When I turned on my phone after few hours, my phone was flooded with messages. Most of them were from Aayan, and few others were to wish me happy birthday. The gist of his messages was: angry, angry, angry, sad, disappointed, begging, angry, angry, and finally apologizing.

I called him up, and as soon as he picked up the call, I said sorry and explained him everything. He listened to me patiently, and then said. ‘I have never done so much for any girl, and frankly you don’t deserve it. We’ll talk when you beg me to come back to you.’ I could not hear anymore, so I disconnected the call. He didn’t call back after that.

Nowadays, we do not even look at each other’s faces, and I found out that he had gone back to his old girlfriend. All this made me realise something, when something is too good to be true, it’s usually isn’t, and love is only sweet in the beginning, but always leaves a bitter taste in the end.