(Series) Chapter 6: Why all girls have Boyfriends

Why every girl I like has a boyfriend?

I hate shopping! Pooja knows it quite well, yet we were in a mall on Saturday. I did not want to suffer alone, so I called up Sagar, my best friend. Sagar was with me in college, and we instantly became friends, as he was a lot like me, ugly and funny. We use to hang around all the time, never attending any classes, even if we did; we got thrown out for disturbing the class. There were not many beautiful girls left in our college with whom we haven’t flirted with. We were perfect wingmen to each other. During the last year of college, he said to me that we won’t be friends after college. However five years on, we were still thick as thieves.

‘Why is that every girl I like has a boyfriend?’ Sagar said to me. The thing is, we men talk about either sports, or girlfriends, if we happen to date someone, or why every girl on the planet isn’t in love with us. The only reason I come up with is, because we are not Johnny Depp or Hritik Roshan.

‘What happened?’ I asked as we stood outside a store, waiting for Pooja to check out some new bag or shoes or something girls drool over.

‘Remember that girl, I meet through Facebook’. Sagar a Facebookaholick had messaged this cute girl, I forgot her name. Last I knew they had exchanged numbers, and he had asked her out.

‘Yes, so how was the date?’ I asked with excitement. I don’t know why I was getting excited; it was not that I was going out with her.

‘It was not a date, and she already has a boyfriend’. So the story according to him was; they both went out bowling, and had loads of fun. She was coquettish in her conversation, and often giving signal that she liked him. However everything seemed fine till he dropped her off. Out of nowhere, she said to him ‘I had so much fun today; I would definitely bring my boyfriend here’.

In my mind this particular conversation went like this:

Girl: ‘I had so much fun today; I would definitely bring my boyfriend here’.

Sagar: ‘Excuse me, what did you say?’

Girl: ‘I had fun today; I want to bring my boyfriend to this place,’ now with less enthusiasm.

Sagar: ‘Excuse me, what was the last part?’

Girl: ‘I want to bring my BOYFRIEND here,’ sounding confused now.

Sagar: ‘Please stand here,’ and he runs her over with his car.

I started laughing at what crazy thought I had in my mind.

Pooja wanted something to eat, as her stomach now growled for something other than clothes and accessories. We went to the food court and ordered Chinese and one plate of pav bhaji. Few minutes later Karan joined us, another good friend of mine.

Karan was a guy, who from afar looked like those sweet guys from boy bands, over whom girls lusted over. Yet he was one of the shyest guys I knew. Three of us were inseparable back in the college, till the bug of love bit him. He suddenly developed a superpower of being invisible and only time we did see him was when he was with his girlfriend. Nevertheless, we were all having a delightful lunch at the food court.

Sagar raised his worrying topic again, ‘Why every girl he finds attractive has a boyfriend’. Sitting there I was saying thanks to my lucky stars that I had Pooja. Without her I too, would be in the same circumstance trying to decipher the code.

‘You guys don’t understand do you’, Pooja intervened. If a girl is beautiful or attractive, many other guys like you would try to get her attention. There is a very little window of opportunity when a girl is single. Therefore, she always has a boyfriend’. As a matter of fact, her words made sense to me. At any given moment, a girl would have more than ten guys crushing over her. I have seen Pooja’s Facebook page, in a day she gets over five to six friend requests. This is how much desperate we guys have become.

‘So what is that I should do’, Sagar said with a fret look on his face.

Karan pitched in, ‘Why don’t you try being friends with a girl, then you can swoop in when she breaks up with a guy’. His theory certainly made sense. If you have a front seat to a girl’s life, you could become her knight in shining armour when she breaks up. She will be vulnerable with her defences down; a man can make a move that time. Karan was a genius.

‘What about you landing up in the friend’s zone?’ Pooja said again, taking keen interest to our predicament. She had a valid point too, as her words were like the wind which blows away our castle of cards. Being friends can also have its disadvantages. One could hear those dreaded words, ‘I never thought of you that way or I just don’t feel for you in that way’. No man should suffer that pain, it’s like you were watering a cactus in a desert. It stored up all your care and still gave you back prickly thorns.

Although we were not arriving to any conclusion, I was having a great time. I felt like a mad scientist trying to figure out the answer to an equation of dark matter or whatever mad scientists do.

The bulb in my head suddenly lit up, ‘Stop doing whatever you are doing’ I shouted. ‘Why not have an inside man, I mean why not befriend the girlfriend of the girl you like’. My theory was; the problem with previous approach was that there was a danger of being friend zoned. So if we approach the girlfriend of that girl we like, it eliminates the friend zone problem. Also we now have a person who could leak the Intel we need. So diabolical, I love my brain.

‘Yes, that could work, that’s a great Idea’ Sagar concurred.

‘Can you guys stop it?’ Pooja shrieked, she had her irritated look on her face, and I know because it always comes when I make a blunder. ‘Do you really like this girl? She asked Sagar.

‘I think so’ Sagar said not so sure in his words.

‘You think so! Then you should listen to these stupid advices. You are not even sure that you like this girl and complaining that she has a boyfriend. You should first ask yourself, whether I like this girl enough to confess to her how you feel and ready to wait for an off chance that she might be single in the future. Liking someone means, being out there, being vulnerable to getting hurt, and yes it’s great to have inside information or being close friends with her. Nevertheless, you don’t want to do it in a sneaky way; you don’t have to manipulate people.

‘Ya dude, you can’t manipulate people’, I said, and made a cute face, and hoping to be back on her good side. However, the thing is, she was right, there is no one single strategy, there are bunch of variables that have to align. We think we are the perfect match for every girl, and only thing which is stopping us is that she has a boyfriend. In truth Universe has a totally different plan for us. We just don’t have the foresight to see it. Somewhere down the line we realise, whatever happens has happened for a reason. We shouldn’t be angry about girls having boyfriends, because they seem happy with that person and when timing is right someday you will find that happiness with someone too.

After few months later

Sagar stars did align and he met this beautiful girl. A funny thing that happened was, once all four of us went for a movie. While I was getting popcorn, I heard two guys talking, looking at Sagar and his girlfriend. ‘Dude I told you she has a boyfriend, man I don’t get it, why every girl I like has a boyfriend’. I just stood there laughing.